J E E - R A H L

May Flowers

What can I say..... it's been a HUGE month.

Another year another birthday... Looking back, it seems I don't really write much on my birthday. Maybe it's because I don't really have much to look forward to. haha. Anyway. This year I actually spent a lot of time reflecting on my past, on who I was now, and where I wanted to go. Yeah, heavy stuff.

So a couple months ago I actually attended church out here in Phoenix. The message was ok, nothing special, I don't even remember it anymore. Afterwards however, I sat through bible study and the topic of discussion was a question. The question was "who are you?". In an instant the enormity of the question struck me. I mean, how do we define ourselves? Can we even define ourselves or is it best left to how others define you? I sit up at night thinking about this question and what it might mean. The interesting thing about me is that three times in my life now I've had the opportunity to ball up whatever answer I had to this question and start all over.

Now comes the hard part. Where do I want to go. I've always been an optimist when it comes to the future. I've always said I was "the luckiest man on earth" and firmly believe it. It's hard isn't it? I mean really, if you think about life, all the different outcomes, the possibilities. It can be something as simple and seemingly insignificant as wording something a certain way or randomly bumping into a stranger. Life altering events that are defined in microseconds. Someone said to me this weekend "it's not all about the money Eric". He probably didn't think twice about it before or after. Boy did it hit me like a baseball bat though.

Sorry if my thoughts are a bit fragmented but I'll definitely be writing more soon. I've had a couple of quiet months and I feel like something is brewing...

Posted by e1000 at May 30, 2007 12:08 AM