J E E - R A H L

Epiphany

I've lived my life being independant. As an only child, for most of the time I really haven't had a choice. Two years ago I put that independance to the test. I travelled to a city where I didn't know anyone and started a new job. Amazingly, I adapted, took to the new city and made it my own. Chicago, being the city it was, showed me nothing but love. Back then, I was able to let go of Atlanta. I had a lot of ties to that city but somehow I was able to look to the future without looking back too many times.

Two years later I find myself playing russian roulette with my life again. Another new city and another new job. Unfortunately for me, this time the transition was smoother, less harsh. Like a little kid walking down a scary hallway, I keep looking back. I see now that I've been too busy looking back that I'm not looking forward at the path in front of me. Maybe it's the holiday. I remember in 2004 I spent Christmas at a casino as an esacape.

The last couple weeks I've been humbled. It almost feels like my time in Chicago was so short that I feel like I didn't give it enough time. I've REALLY REALLY been considering moving back.

No more. It's not to say I won't move back to Chicago, or even move back very soon. The line in the sand has been drawn however. If I do move back, it will be to move forward in one way or another. The past isn't something to be scared of, or forgotten, but it should also not be dwelled on.

It's that time again. Time to grow. Time to be uncomfortable. I need to look forward to what the future has in store for me, whatever it might be. So as I walk in my journey of life, I'm turning my head around, looking into the darkness, and putting one foot in front of the other.......alone.

Edit: - Merry Christmas everyone

Posted by e1000 at December 24, 2006 07:45 PM