J E E - R A H L

airports

Ok, so I'm spending a couple days up in VA to spend some time with my parents. In doing so, I decided I would fly up here because not only do I hate the 8hr drive and high gas prices, I'm lazy.

So anyway, my plane was delayed for a little so I decided I would observe people. I've always found it interesting to watch people as they do things, to anyalyze thier actions, and to ponder about them. Here are some things about airports that drive me absolutely mad...

Large men with tiny wheeled briefcases - Ok, I don't know who the hell started this trend but it must stop. I can understand the women out there in all their daintyness with tiny cute little bags with wheels. I can, I can accept that. But it drives me nuts when I see a rather large man, with essentially a briefcase, somtimes no larger than the laptop in it, with wheels on it, and about 50 extensions on the handle to make it long enough to pull. Are we THAT lazy. Come on people, pick the damn thing up, it's really not that heavy.

People that are at the airport with cowboy hats on - So I'm not a big hat person to begin with. Baseball caps, barrets, skull caps (beanies) i can understand, from a functional point of view, to also a somewhat stylistic view as well. In either case, these do not hinder on fellow travelers. I swear I saw someone at the airport with cowboy hat on today. Someone should tell these people that there will be absolutely no purpose for it and they should have left it at home. Better yet, make them leave it at security check with all the deadly toenail clippers the government is so worried people with hijack airplanes with.

Rediculous security checks - Continuing on, when have toenail clippers become deadly? If someone came at me with a toenail clipper, I'd probably die laughing before i was hurt by the damn thing. It's a damn toenail clipper. Safety razors are another item - you really can't do much damage with a safety razer. First, the blades are mounted in a housing such that it can't to too much harm. Second, even if you did pry the blades off, they're too skinny and small to really do much damage. The last thing that really peeves me about security checks is when the security guards don't pay attention. I know, they hafta do it all day. But seriously, is it right to take away some simple personal effects when the security guard checking you is trying to hit on another secuirty guard, in essence making neither do thier jobs correctly?!?

People that insist that a 100lb duffel bag is a carry on - These people need to be shot on the spot. They have a duffel bag the size of my mattress and spend 30 minutes trying to shove it in a overhead bin. Not only do they not notice that there's no way in hell it's going to fit, but they are somehow convinced that rotating it will magically make it work. There should be two seats reserved at the back of each plane, half the size of normal crap seats, right next to the toilet and jet engines for these people.

400lb people - If you need 2 seatbelts, you need 2 seats, you need 2 tickets. Nuff said. I'm sorry, it's just how I feel.

Reclining seats - Correct me if I'm wrong, but reclining seats in airplanes are there just to start trouble. Lets see here, once you recline your seat back, it takes all the space from the person behind you, pissing them off. These people often find it necessary to scarf up the complementary peanuts and recline when there happens to be a drink on the fold down tray, attached to the damn seatback. This wouldn't really bother me if they were functional, but honestly, they recline all of 2 inches. To top it all off, the flight attendants find it necessary to power trip over this as well, and will instruct you that you must have your damn seatback in the upright position for take-off and landing - who makes this stuff up? Dont' forget the 5yr old that thinks breaking the reclining seat is his mission for the flight.

Seatbelt tutorial - it's 2004, if you haven't seen a seatbelt and don't know how to use one, you shouldn't be on a plane.

Electronics/Cell phone ban - There has NEVER been a study that definitvely proves that any kind of personal electronics or cell phones interfere with aircraft equipment. Actually, every electronic product that you buy must be tested not to interfere with anything else. Once again, I'd really like to meet the genius that came up with this brilliant idea.

Posted by e1000 at June 22, 2004 01:54 AM